Let it snow. Because you can't stop it!
Posted on February 25, 2010 with 0 comments
I'm over this winter thing. I look out my window and see white snow and nothing else. But much like looking down the train tracks trying to will a train to hurry up, I can't look out the window to make it stop. So I look out and see how beautiful it is instead, even though I'm tired of it. It is a gift, after all, like so many gifts we take for granted or complain about. Yes, the sweater your relative knitted for you that you have to wear on Christmas. The one that doesn't fit, itches, and reminds you of a potholder, just bigger. But you wear it for love, and I accept the snow as a gift of love too.
Just can't wait for it to melt!
I can already tell that 2010 will be a very different year. I'm so lucky in so many ways, I work hard, but I need to play hard as well. And not just the trumpet, I need to enjoy life and stop accepting other peoples burdens and guilt as my own. I know my place in life, I have one person besides myself to take care of, and I finally feel - though I sometimes fight - new(ish) people in my life who are gifts. Much like the snow, I can get tired or irritated by these people, but they are all gifts. And gifts I accept with love and open arms, acceptance and beyond just tolerance.
I've had problems accepting help, trusting others, and for good reason. But that is in the past. And now the snowflakes fall on me, cover my body, and melt and leave traces of cold beauty on my skin that I could describe as uncomfortable or annoying, but I'm learning to caress the cold water, trace beautiful pictures of what I want and need for myself and others, watch it evaporate while more falls. And when the snow stops, I will still have that love - sunshine carries it, moonlight, even cloudy skies. It's everywhere, and I can feel it. Now I need to learn to accept and acknowledge it. 2010 is the year. I'm opening up and letting the pain of the past leave me, sending it away with good intentions and lessons and without mirrors to reflect poorly upon the rest of my life. I deserve a beautiful life full of love, and I'm getting it. Snow and all.
xo,
NP
Just can't wait for it to melt!
I can already tell that 2010 will be a very different year. I'm so lucky in so many ways, I work hard, but I need to play hard as well. And not just the trumpet, I need to enjoy life and stop accepting other peoples burdens and guilt as my own. I know my place in life, I have one person besides myself to take care of, and I finally feel - though I sometimes fight - new(ish) people in my life who are gifts. Much like the snow, I can get tired or irritated by these people, but they are all gifts. And gifts I accept with love and open arms, acceptance and beyond just tolerance.
I've had problems accepting help, trusting others, and for good reason. But that is in the past. And now the snowflakes fall on me, cover my body, and melt and leave traces of cold beauty on my skin that I could describe as uncomfortable or annoying, but I'm learning to caress the cold water, trace beautiful pictures of what I want and need for myself and others, watch it evaporate while more falls. And when the snow stops, I will still have that love - sunshine carries it, moonlight, even cloudy skies. It's everywhere, and I can feel it. Now I need to learn to accept and acknowledge it. 2010 is the year. I'm opening up and letting the pain of the past leave me, sending it away with good intentions and lessons and without mirrors to reflect poorly upon the rest of my life. I deserve a beautiful life full of love, and I'm getting it. Snow and all.
xo,
NP