Just had my girl's 9th birthday party - will be on the road on her actual birthday, and today was the only possibility.  Timing is EVERYTHING! Forecast kept warning us of thundershowers, but we do an outdoor party every year in a quaint playground.  Every year they say possible rain. And we've never gotten caught!!!  Hope I didn't just jinx next year!

It was glorious out, sunshine, luckily the trees provided plenty of shade.  Water fountains were turned on as I was setting up. Friends rolled in, ate pizza, laughed at the veggie tray, enjoyed 3 kinds of cake, kids whacked at a dragon pinata and freaked out collecting toys and candy from the ground, stashing treasures in their Dragonball Z bags. 

Got a few bug bites - this is definitely my year of the bug. Luckily I have the magic bug cream from China! I swear, when I run out I may just go back and visit, let the bugs congregate, and visit the hospital again for more!  It's ridiculously effective.

I usually overdo the food, the cake, the drinks, but this year we got it perfect. Very few leftovers. Very little cleanup, very little pushing leftovers onto other people so I don't have to cart it all home and then fight the urge to indulge.  One piece of pizza and one piece of cake did me just fine.

And now I sit, watching my daughter mesmerized by her new video game, grateful for gift cards (an interesting lesson in money and how to spend, what's worth what...) and thinking of what to cook - or if we should just order in.  So many NYers order food, we don't. At all.  I can't remember the last time I ordered food to be delivered - I swear it was over a year ago.  I love to cook, but since I'm hitting the road again, and I'm beat, and I need to practice that hunk of metal, I'm thinking perhaps a phone call is in order.  I love when ordering in is a treat! There was a time in my life, in the past few years, when it seemed ordering in was a 50% deal for me. Now that I'm busier than ever, I seem to cook more.  Is that even possible? Maybe just an outlet that is not what I do for a living, creativity in completely different areas.  Hmmmmm. What do I have to cook around here...???

So thankful to Mother Nature, to great friends, to a good life, to love. And a happy early birthday to my girl. We'll celebrate again when I'm back (I have a few cupcakes in the freezer... shhhh!)

Also, my Kickstarter is going well, only 7 days left to raise the balance... all or nothing!  I may start biting my nails soon!  http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/kikucollins/album-2-lets-make-it-happen  .  My band is so good it makes me want to cry.  Like, happy tears.

xo,

NP

And now I'm back in the bustle of NYC. I love it here.  I "hike" all over town, rarely taking any kind of transportation other than my legs. I see all sorts of wild life, and I'm grateful for not only the diversity on this planet, but the ability to love and appreciate it all.

My Kickstarter is going... just 9 days left and I'm quite short of my goal.  I'm praying and crossing my fingers (and eyes!) that folks will help out - lots of cool things can be had with a small donation, and if everyone pitched in a few dollars, I'd be there and then some!  I'm very excited about the band I've assembled and have some lovely guest artists in mind to complete, but for now I'm concentrating on getting the rhythm section together to lock down the tunes so we can kill it in the studio!

Many Things are floating in my universe, just outside the reality bubble for now.  Opportunities that I may or may not accept, possibilities that are still just that. I've been busier than I can remember in a long time, and through that business, I find time to smile and realize that every phase of life is somewhat of a stepping stone.  We set our goals, but half the fun is looking around during the hike to the snowcap. And then, more fun is the walk back to life as we live it daily, only to set a new goal, a new hike, and new views. Enjoy the hike, always. We don't set goals to only get them, but the experiences along the way.

xo,

NP

We do the same with work, offers, opportunities, because they are handed to us. 

Who says we need to take it all? Who says we need to hoard Hummel Figurines, an old china cabinet with scratches from a dog long dead, china that was too expensive to eat off of and too ugly to do anything but store in a box, a gig that is musically unfulfilling, a job that pays low and has no happiness effect on our lives...?

Remember how to say "no". Remember how to say "no thank you". Remember to thank yourself for not taking everything simply because it's offered in your general direction.  Need it, want it, and cherish and use it to better your life. Otherwise, there IS someone out there who will need, want and cherish it.

And on the subject - stuff.  We love to get stuff. It feels great! Shopping, find a bargain, don't need it but it's cheap! I do it too, we ALL do it.  Every 6 months, clean out your closet. See how much of those bargains actually get put to use. See how many you end up donating to charity.  Not such a good bargain, taking up space, needing to be dusted, and in the end, costing you SOMEthing, just to be carted away later. 

We are never perfect at anything - we continue to get stuff, to take on work, to accept presents that we can't, won't or don't. It's fine. It's life. Live it, consciously. 

Yeah, I really DID want that sweater the other day.  It was 70% off. I will wear it because it's perfect for me and will replace things that I've gotten in the past that weren't. They will go off to the Goodwill or Salvation army and I'll have theoretically paid more than the original price of that new sweater! Ironic, no?

The good news is that someone else will find and love those sweaters. I hope!

And remember, friendships and associates and lovers, they are all in our life closet. Be sure you have picked well. I know too many people in unhappy relationships, with lovers or friends or even family. Not to say you should donate them, but look deep in that closet, see what you may want to patch up, see what you may want to re-evaluate. I look in my past closets and am astounded. I look in my present closet, and while I do need to throw a patch here and there, sew on a button, or simply get the iron out, I'm happy with what's in there.  

xo,

NP

I present this with love in my heart.  My daughter and I sure are getting a kick out the fine tuneage!  Thank you to the blogger, this was sent to me by my fabulous Cowboy friend Chris McDaniel!  Seriously, I love the spirit behind the notes, no matter how far they may be from what may have been intended.

WOW!

xo,

NP

We all say we are. Right? I mean, if someone asks if you're happy, it's a rhetorical question.

I just got back to lovely NYC after a weekend of reflection, awesomeness, and love.  I always picture my life as those 3 things, but I realize that sometimes I don't give myself enough freedom to take those things and turn them into happy. I turn those things into making others happy, or worrying about others happiness, but not my own.

On the ride home, I thought about so much, all good. I'm so blessed in my life, and we all are, really. Things that don't make you happy... why do you do them? I have plenty of those less than desirable things in life, and for what? Sometimes they are part of reaching a goal and therefore are actually good. Turn those moments into gratefulness for the end result and they WILL make you happy. 

 Things that don't lead to goals that YOU want for YOU? Figure out why you do them. Is it someone else's goal? Is it what society expects of you? Is it someone else's dream, something that others want you to achieve for their own vicarious reasons?

Life is never everything we want. Wouldn't that be boring? If someone told you that you didn't have to work again a day in your life and you could have anything and everything you wanted, would you be happy? I wouldn't. How sweet are those "things" when you work toward them? How fulfilled are you when you aren't handed something you want, when you work for it??? It's AWESOME.

But sometimes we work toward something we don't want, something that doesn't make us happy, something that others want or think equates happiness. Sometimes we work and don't know what our goal is. We just do.

Life is a gift, learn to love yourself and what makes you happy. People will judge other people primarily because they don't know what they want themselves. Don't be angry at them, don't waste your time - it won't make you any happier and it won't help you work toward that goal! Don't know what your goals are? Be honest. It's not all about material things. It's not all about what society thinks is success or happiness. And you get to name your own goal and find ways to work your way there. How awesome is THAT???

xo,

NP

I haven't had a proper vacation in a Very Long Time. I think the last time I went somewhere for an extensive period of discovery and relaxation without a gig attached was when I went to France with my daughter before she started preschool. Yeah. I remember not knowing how to pack, because I hadn't started my touring life yet. I had pathetically heavy suitcases for us, but we ran through the streets of Paris, waving croissants and smiles.  We swam in the ocean in the South, and yes, that sand was in our hair.

I've made mini getaways for the next 2 weeks, 2 days up in Boston, 3 days in Colorado. No gigs, just giggles. But it's kind of long enough to be annoyed that I have to run right home and Get To Work.  I need a break.  I'm exhausted.  I love that I'm blessed with work all around me, but I miss breathing.

Sometimes it's hard to turn a page in a book, especially when it's the end. You know you want to know what happens, whodunit, and you're pretty much over it and ready for the next book.  But will the next one be a bomb or The Bomb?  There's only one way to find out.

As we get older, not that I'm implying that I'm old... it becomes both easier and harder to change. Harder because we get set in our ways. Easier because we begin to realize how flexible life truly is, how we morph every few years and how if we don't allow the cocoon to open up and reveal what's next, how we can get stuck in a rut and become "those people"; the ones who make meatloaf every Sunday, who play the same notes over and over, who lose their very essence to someone else. The ones who put the same exact eye shadow on daily, who drive or walk the same route to work, who take a lunch break at the same time daily, like in the Flinstones when the whistle blows and they slide down the dino necks.  Or whatever they did. 

I sometimes wonder how people get into Ruts. And then I see myself Rutting along in ways. I see youth clamoring for my Ruts. It's a dream, what I do. I admit it. But what I do is not exclusive. It's unique, and it's unique to each person who has the same dream. I get asked how I got to do what I do, I was just interviewed again last night and was asked how it all started. And I laugh at how it did. It was fate. No matter what channels were open at that time, it was what I do and what I would do.

I love performing. I love creating. I love being a great mom and baking chocolate cake, and then sharing a naughty moment as my daughter and I eat a slice Before Dinner.  It's ours, our moment, and it breaks our rut of dinner first. It lets her know that it's good to mix it up, to do the right things even when they're wrong. 

I think it's time for my rut to un-rut a little.  How? We'll just see... but I hope it's more than cake before dinner. 

Did you ever do something so you could say "I can cross this off my list now?" Something totally out of the ordinary for you? Or maybe not, but something slightly taboo?  Do it now. Do it in the next 5 days. Do something zany (safe, please!), if it's cake for dinner and dinner for dessert, fine. If it's taking a Saturday and NOT working at all, only laying in bed reading all day, getting up to snack on fresh fruit and coffee laced with cinnamon and an ice cube... going for a run even if you DON'T run, and you only make it 10 blocks... cleaning out your closet honestly, and anything not worn in the past year gets donated - without exception... getting out your Flashdance soundtrack and Going For It in your livingroom (you KNOW the moves!)... singing childhood songs into a video camera and watching yourself recall simple lyrics you knew at age 3... looking up a recipe you've never tried, going to the grocery store and buying every ingredient, and going for it no matter how scary it may turn out... clean your dvd and cd collection out, realize that most of them are available on the Netflix instant downloads and donating them to the local library... clean your bookshelves while you're at it! You can visit them at the library too!... if you're an amateur, professional or has been musician, practice something you can remember from your youth, pluck it out of your brain and do your best... 

There's so much we don't do. Fear? Of what? Time wasted? Failure? Success? Making an *ss of oneself? 

Heck, that last one's part of my gig. And it rocks.

Close your eyes and think. Open them and make a list of things you are afraid of trying, things you think you may fail at, things that go bump in the night. Once you write them down, make them your list.  And try each one, if just to say "Well, that's off my list now".

xo,

NP

Thoughts?

xo,

NP

What about everything you do well? What about what makes you smile? Do you like the smell of apple pie baking? It's not something you need to improve, it's something for pure enjoyment! Do you like to dance to old Sinatra on the Victrola when nobody is looking? Do you like to play makeup and do crazy things with glitter to your face? Do you like to read a book with the windows wide open, the sounds of nature surrounding you, the breeze on your face?

We all have things we need to do better, or would like to do better.  Improve, always, but never forget what you do well, what you enjoy, what makes you smile.  When we focus on improving and winning, we forget sometimes to enjoy life, our loved ones, and just being.

Be.  Skip down the street. Make a root beer float. Have breakfast for dinner. And enjoy your loved ones, time is precious and so are we.

xo,
NP 

At the first "boom" after sundown, we realized that our good friend and neighbor was hosting firework viewing, as she has a really stellar view (ours has been mucked up by New Fancy Buildings).  She called her to check in and we ran upstairs to enjoy a spectacular fireworks show.  It's pretty amazing how technology advances in pyrotechnics.  I remember being in Japan as a child, running through the streets with other children, no common language to share, only the glint of sparklers and happiness on our faces as we somehow avoided blowing off limbs and faces with said sparklers.  Do they still run amok with flaming toys?  At the time, I got over my fear of burning up quickly, but I'm not sure I would be happy with my girl racing up and down a street like I did.  Times are so different, aren't they?  Am I overprotective?  

So we watched from a safe distance as ginormous sparklers ran up and down the streets in the sky, being held by invisible, giant, laughing children who could speak any language that involved a smile.  I watched as several helicopters flew overhead and wondered what kind of an amazing spectacle that would be from above.  I wondered if my beautiful Mom was watching from up there, smiling at the children we can't see, thinking about her own children so long ago, running through the streets of Fukuoka, dropping language and cultural barriers for the chance to hold flaming magic and experience something so rich in Asian cultures and not so common back at home.  That was home for her.  And when I think back to being there, with her, I can't help but think that was MY home too, moreso than where I grew up.

I wonder what my daughter thinks of when she recalls trips away from the city.  She has seen a bit of the world, swam in the ocean in the South of France, made friends on that beach with not a word spoken, meandered the streets of Paris knowing how to say "croissant" and "sunglasses".  She has been in the clean air of Michigan, Colorado, frolicked in the oceans on the Florida coast, played in the fountains of Boston, picked strawberries and caught butterflies in rural Mass, enjoyed the oceans of the Jersey Shore, Virginia Beach... so many other wonderful places at her young age.  Me, I had only been to Japan by her age.  Maybe Florida via driving with a camper strapped to the family car.

As we sit in our apartment on a sweltering-hot day, the cure for such a sticky day is apparently to crank the A/C (which is not cold at all!) and bake a chocolate cake.  Seems reasonable!

Happy Summer - it really feels like it!  

xo,

NP 

xoxo to my lovely family and friends at AmeriFace/CleftAdvocate!  

xo,

NP