http://kikucollins.com/news.html Kiku Collins: Old Blog to 12/09 Jannis' PHPRss class - http://www.jannis.to/ Wed, 22 May 2013 01:26:37 -0700 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#490 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#490 Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0800 Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Valve Trombone, Vocals, Actor! - Kiku Collins - Old Blog to 12/09 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#489
In this process, I've looked at mistakes, unhappy times, and general negativity and have found the happiness it covered up. Like a layer of dust, it's actually easy to clear it off. People in your past who made you walk on eggshells, people who coveted what you had, other yukkies... and now I sit here, watching my daughter do homework, enjoying her inquisitive questions and returning smiles and encouragement... and I realize how lucky I am to not only have such a great kid (to the core!) but also to have given myself value and worth enough to bring goodness into my life.

Waking up and knowing that I love my life, no matter what it brings, loving folks who are close to me and creeping into my space from other parts of the galaxy, realizing that I'm not obligated to like just anyone, just because - but I am obligated to appreciate everyone in whatever capacity they live in, and realize that those who have wronged me or loved ones deserve the realization of what they've done, and to change their own futures to embrace the truth.

This doesn't mean I forgive everyone for everything they've ever done wrong, to me and others. But I do know that I have not always been an angel (and of course we all have our moments in time, don't we?) But I have learned and improved my outlook, my realization of consequences, respect for both those I do and don't know, and also the ability to forgive myself and send love to the universe for everyone - even if I think they suck, personally. :)

Because people CAN wake up. People can clean up, dust off and discover happiness for themselves. We can't force them, just like we can't force others to clean out their closets and give the 70% of clothing they never wear to charity. But we can encourage and cheer on and back off. All it takes is love.

xo,
NP]]> http://kikucollins.com/news.html#489 Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0800 Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Valve Trombone, Vocals, Actor! - Kiku Collins - Old Blog to 12/09 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#488
I didn't set any alarms this morning and slept past 8am. Luxury? Maybe not for some out there, but for me? Amazing and decadent.

I warmed up. Worked out. Dropped off a suitcase and a large bag of clothing at the Goodwill. Took a nice long walk. Even did some shopping which I never get to do. Funny thing, I bought nothing. I tried things on, thought they were cute, and decided they were unnecessary. With the clutter clearing I have been doing and continue to do as part of my life now, I think about every single item. Will I be dropping this off at the Goodwill next month?

Instead, I got cupped. It's a semi-secret indulgence of mine and I usually do it when I'm in dire pain or sick. Today? Felt pretty good, no sniffles. But I had time! And I feel like layers were broken through, bad qi was sucked out that had not been reachable for a long time. Thank goodness it's cool out and I have no immediate shows coming up. For those who have never gotten or seen someone who has been cupped, I'd suggest at least researching a bit. It doesn't hurt but actually feels very releasing and relaxing. The marks are an issue for some - I never get cupped in the summer or when I have a gig coming up. Though Gwynyth Paltrow did show up in public with cup marks showing at an event, which I found incredibly awesome. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3879447.stm

Anyway, here I am. And now that a frustration in my life has come back in, my cup marks are dark and my spirit also went dark for a few moments. I know, things pass, things get better, and I have been good at getting past these moments. I guess it's the recurring ones with the same people, same events, same frustrations, that are like flies buzzing in your face. They annoy you and there's not a whole lot you can do in the end. Unless you walk away or kill them. Unfortunately, neither is an option here, and so I do what I do, I do my best, and I have faith that good will win.

Off to finish some things up, maybe lift a few weights, crunch a few crunches, toot a few notes, and try to get to bed before it becomes tomorrow. That 6am alarm seems to come awfully early, doesn't it?

Sending love and light and strength, goodness to those who don't utilize enough in their lives, and generosity to everyone. If everyone could give a little more instead of take, then everyone would receive more than they could ever imagine!

And as always, I'm ever grateful for my beautiful daughter. It's funny how children can anchor us and let us enjoy flying at the same time.

xo,
NP]]> http://kikucollins.com/news.html#488 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0800 Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Valve Trombone, Vocals, Actor! - Kiku Collins - Old Blog to 12/09 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#487
The hotel was a bit odd, and my room's heat was not working... finally on the third day they brought me a heater. It wasn't awful the other days but it would have been nicer a bit warmer. Otherwise, the gym was killing, which is always a treat for me since I'm so busy in NYC that I only work out at home now. Oh, and at the playgrounds on weekends.

Somehow I packed all of my purchases in my suitcase - hoping it's not overweight but if it is I do have other options... it's hard to keep my eyes open now but I have to finish up and check out soon. I'm so looking forward to being back home with my baby, back to my gluten free/dairy free options, my memory foam, my critters, and - laundry. Ready to buckle down and do more writing for the next record, reworking my chops a bit, doing some feng shui magic and donating more. Gotta think about these holidays coming up too, yikes! Luckily, most of my shopping here was for my little girl, so Santa has a head start!

Looking forward to snuggling with my baby again... be well and enjoy how you live your life!

xo,
NP]]> http://kikucollins.com/news.html#487 Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0800 Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Valve Trombone, Vocals, Actor! - Kiku Collins - Old Blog to 12/09 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#486 http://girlscantwhat.com/who-says-trumpets-are-just-for-boys/

Thank you so much to Gretchen for helping to empower us girls to do whatever the heck we want to do! Love the concept, the design, and the obvious awesomeness of her messages!!!

xo,
NP]]> http://kikucollins.com/news.html#486 Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700 Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Valve Trombone, Vocals, Actor! - Kiku Collins - Old Blog to 12/09 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#485
As we grow, as we attend school, we are told to study everything. Some kids take it to heart and some don't see the point in Algebra, or Supreme Court (yeah, I got stuck in one of those classes...)

We enter our senior year of high school and are told to make a decision. At 16 years old or thereabouts, what would you like to do for the rest of your existence? For me, I pretty much thought music was all I COULD do. Everything else was mediocre to me, I liked writing and being active and reading, but most of all, I liked practicing (skipping classes to do so!) and playing that horn, performing - the bigger the audience the better, auditioning (can you believe it???), competing and otherwise, well, just keeping the horn on my mug.

When I speak with young musicians today about career, many seem to want to be a musician full time. I mean, I did it, why couldn't they?

They see the end result. They don't see the dues being paid, the tears shed, the self doubt that plagues me (and many other musicians) all throughout their careers. The lack of sleep to learn to be flawless on stage - sometimes for just one performance. The low paying or *GASP* free gigs. They see the glamour, the television appearances and stadium shows. The fancy clothes and fun makeup. The "effortless" movement.

There is SO much work involved. I'm not saying I don't love it. I do and I always have. I've decided that this may be my year for doing more clinics for younger people. I've been asked to do them for years and have been "too busy". But the truth is that I shouldn't be too busy to inspire the future. Heck, they'll be the ones I call to sub, they'll be the ones I hire! I never had the pleasure of having a role model doing what I wanted to do that was accessible. Back then it was as a classical musician. I couldn't exactly call up Maurice Andre. When I got into pop and jazz, as much as I'd like to have lunch with the Earth, Wind and Fire horn section and ask a few questions over pb&j, it just wasn't going to happen. I did get Very Lucky in meeting Lew Soloff through my brother who was his student for years. That was around age 15, and to this day, Lew and I are great friends and often hang out. However, back then, I was starstruck and couldn't ask a question. He had me play for him, told me how beautiful my sound was, and I carried that around 'til this day. I wish I had the balls back then to ask questions about his career path, or what he did to make it, the low points vs. high points. But I didn't. I'm amazed I could make a sound for him at all.

I met Jon Faddis briefly when I was younger, maybe at 14. But it was a shaky "hi" at best. That was it. Recently I got to re-meet Jon and we had a great time, I even got a lift home from the ITG conference in PA, so we had a great time talking. THAT was a moment that I may not have handled at a young age, but would probably have helped inspire me.

So, I'm putting it out there. This is my year to share. I've been shaping clinic ideas for a while, and while I've done things here and there, I'd love some feedback on what YOU as musicians or, any artist, youth, etc. would like to be able to ask someone who is doing what you hope to do someday. Would you want a full on participation clinic? Would you want me to just do a Q&A? Long or short performance? Bring a band or use the students in the school? What would inspire and stir the fire, what would make you think and honestly ask yourself, "What Do I Want To Do With My Life?"

Always remember, your life changes minute by minute. What you want to do now may not be the answer in 5 years. Or 5 minutes. One thing that I always encourage is keeping mind and options open. Explore as much as you can and focus on what you love, but don't throw the rest away. Algebra may just end up being important to you.

xo,
NP]]> http://kikucollins.com/news.html#485 Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700 Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Valve Trombone, Vocals, Actor! - Kiku Collins - Old Blog to 12/09 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#484
I ate the $60, sent the stuff back, blogged a bit in August about it, and let it leave my brain to leave space for the good stuff to move back in.

I got some disturbing emails from the person in charge, and I have since revised that entry, deleting the company name, the person's name, and included the emails - of course out of courtesy I blanked out their company name that he had written in. I obliged to his email, and deleted any names that could be googled.

I also passed these interesting emails to a friend who was privy to this entire transaction, and that friend sent a cordial note to the person and also received a pretty horrendous response. I have since told my associate to not get involved any more, this should not be anyone's issue since the persons request to basically not have a review of our bad transaction accessible to future customers was granted immediately.

Interesting things were said by the person, and while I probably should be angry, I am sad for him. See, we never know the whole story on someone, and when someone takes a simple situation and something that honestly they did wrong, and turns it into a personal attack on a customer that they promised one thing and then took it away, while insulting that person's art or integrity or honesty... there must have been something very sad in his life to make him this way.

So I send love to him and hope that he gets whatever help he needs. I have also let management know of the developments and hope that we will not have to take any action on this person. Hey, I ate the $60 fee that was not mine, I had to bounce bad energy off of me many times, and you know what? This person keeps dwelling. Is it displaced anger about something else? Most likely. I'm a firm believer in discovering why you find anger or hate toward someone. I find that most times, it's about some deep-rooted stuff from our pasts that hits a nerve. And we don't blame the root of the nerve, because it's too painful.

Find that synapse in your life that makes you wince in pain and hate. I have been doing a lot of that work in the past few years and while it sometimes hurts, the relief is huge. Not to mention the good energy that gets to move in!

Rock on, everyone, and enjoy today and everyday! Sending love out to those who need it or just want it because it's fantastic!

xo,
NP]]> http://kikucollins.com/news.html#484 Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700 Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Valve Trombone, Vocals, Actor! - Kiku Collins - Old Blog to 12/09 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#483
But boy, I do get sad when I have to start picking through, throwing out the wilted ones and trying to save the fighters.

But what's the alternative? To not receive them at all?

I guess a potted plant may not be as romantic or as seemingly heartfelt. It may seem to domestic or pedestrian as a gift of admiration or emotion.

But then, even if the plant doesn't make it 10 years, it would most likely outlive slain floral arrangements. Perhaps the symbolic roots-in-soil, not-gonna-die-anyday-soon vibe will mean more a month down the road, if it makes it to 6 months, a year... who knows. And if it dies in a month or two, well, that was weeks longer than a lovely floral arrangement.

Agh. I just don't know sometimes. Traditions are lovely. Like sending roses to a loved one. But they wilt so quickly. Is that what we think of romance? At least the chocolates last a lifetime on the hips! Hehe.

I'm not down on the flower giving/receiving thing. Just thinking outloud. Which tends to turn into blogging. I look at my last few fighters in a vase and think, yes - I'm a fighter in the survival game too. And when they finally die and end up down the garbage chute, I will bloom on.

xo,
NP]]> http://kikucollins.com/news.html#483 Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700 Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Valve Trombone, Vocals, Actor! - Kiku Collins - Old Blog to 12/09 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#482
Having had back and neck pain much of my life, the culprit (besides usual stress) being scoliosis... for the past 2 nights I decided to sleep withouth a pillow. The result? My neck is not popping and locking as much as usual!

Since my cervical spine is not curved like most folks (and the rest is a backwards "S") I find many positions that are comfy for most are notsomuch for yours truly. Last week I finally bought a balance ball chair and love it.

I suppose I use a pillow because it's there. It looks pretty when I make my bed. But now? Who knows. Maybe I'll just have an oddly flat looking bed, but who cares but me? And do I care? Not if my neck feels this much better! And I suppose eventually this may help alleviate my upper back pain. Lower back - awesome. Always. Must be all the backbending I do when I play.

xo,
NP]]> http://kikucollins.com/news.html#482 Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700 Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Valve Trombone, Vocals, Actor! - Kiku Collins - Old Blog to 12/09 http://kikucollins.com/news.html#481
Having been this busy, I'm not sure where I left off, but I had a fabulous week on the road with Michael Bolton and band/crew. I love challenging gigs that help me "man up" and make me want to bring it. Probably heading to London for 2 shows and then I have some time in my tour life probably - so if anyone is in need of some trumpet with the added benefits of backup singing, simple dancing, and fabulous shoes, let me know! Also feeling this might be a good time for a few school clinics. Or a nap.

I've been thinking a lot about words, and their impact on others. It amazes me. A kind word, a smile to go with it, a gesture of love or happiness on the side... try it sometime! I find that folks who bring bitterness and hate with their words, no matter what those words are, make walls go up, defenses, a shield. I love to help bring walls down, my own included. I'd rather spend my time here happy and warm and full of love, wouldn't you? Seems it's working all around me. If you bring the good stuff to others, it's hard for them to lash out with bad in your direction. It takes so little effort to be kind and so much to be anything else!!!

I haven't had much sleep in the past month, and am thinking that might be a fine idea tonight. Too bad I'm not tired. Though I have early mornings warming up and getting my day going, I find my brain wants to function late at night. I'm rather enjoying my newly feng shui'd livingroom though. My daughter has been making furniture move suggestions and I finally found time to listen to her yesterday and make the moves. She was so right. Without consulting or even understanding the Bagua. Certainly my daughter has amazing intuition gifts. And she would always rather share than savor herself. She's such a beautiful little soul - and it's definitely been around a long time. I am constantly learning from her and feel her wisdom from way back.

xo,
NP]]> http://kikucollins.com/news.html#481 Mon, 12 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700 Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Valve Trombone, Vocals, Actor! - Kiku Collins - Old Blog to 12/09